But Not Too Much

I couldn’t help laughing at the dichotomy presented by this text and picture combination (both from the same application process):

Thank you Mistress Katzenburg,

I promise to do as you command, and I will answer whatever questions you have both promptly and honestly. Please don’t post the pictures you have of me please Mistress.

sissy-6f.jpeg-cropped.jpg

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hint taken Mistress Katzenburg thank you for the reminder.

yours

maidsadie xxx

To Mistress Katzenburg,

I wanted to write this on here as it shows that i am not seeking to back out of my application through fear and nerve. I hope you accept my reasons. feel free to delete my post afterwards as you see fit.

My main reason behind seeking punishment and humiliation stems from a way to deal with the trauma i experienced throughout my childhood. Over the years I have used various negative ways to deal with this, such as self harm, eating disorders, hair pulling, depression, suicidal thoughts, etc.

Another way in which i seek to justify my feelings of worthlessness and guilt, is through seeking punishment and humiliation. Performing these acts in someway justify the worthless feelings i have about myself at any given time.

Obviously it isnt a healthy way to go about life for me, and as the years have gone on and i have degraded and endangered myself in any number of ways i have come to realise, slowly, that its just not how i can go on living my life. I have to change and by seeking punishment in this way, well it just isnt right for me.

I am so sorry for wasting your time, and I wish you all the very best in what ever life brings your way.

But for me, this isnt about fun, its a way of punishing myself for feeling guilty about something which somebody did to me over 30 years ago. Until i can learn to let that go, i can never be able to live a healthy life.

Thank you for your time and effort youve given me these past few weeks.

kind regards

sadie. x

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