A long, long time ago I was given an assignment in response to some unnecessarily mean things that I’d said. At this point, I honestly can’t remember what they were, but they more than warranted a response from Mistress Katzenburg. That assignment was the originally named, Full of Shit. I was to find a recipe that would leave me looking like I’d been covered in shit, post the recipe, then make up a large batch, dress up like a baby, and cover myself in it for the enjoyment of all of you. That assignment unfortunately never happened—life gets in the way, things get put off until later, and before you know it, it’s been five months. I should have known better than to put it off, and I’m sure I’ll pay for it in the long run, but better late than never.
As with my previous assignment, [White Slime]( http://institute.cdpunishment.com/2012/01/maggie_rae_and_the_white_slime_cleaning_up_after_sissy_billy), I decided to craft my recipe from scratch rather than attempt to emulate what someone else had done. I started with an extra-large bottle of chocolate syrup (48oz) with two cups of water to thin it down. I then put some flour in a mixing bowl (eyeball it—about a cup at a time), added a little bit of the watery chocolate mixture, and stirred to combine. I continued adding like this—little bit of flour, little bit of mixture, combining until I had used all my mixture and had what was essentially a very runny batter. I then added about half a box of crushed Crispex to the mix to give it some texture. The result was a little more red than I may have wanted, but it was still sticky, gooey, and disgusting.
With my mixture concocted, there was only one thing left to do, and it was far beyond pleasant. I put on a diaper, my plastic pants, my mask, and put my hair up in pigtails before dumping the disgusting mix over my head. I sat there to stew for a while, contemplating all the time I’d delayed completing my assignment and my neglect for the Institute before starting the long clean-up process. Even while I’m typing this, I’m still pulling little bits of Crispex out of my hair—I’m afraid it’s going to be a while before they’re all out. I’m more afraid, however, of what kind of karmic backlog has built up for me at the Institute while I’ve been away. I suppose I’ll find out soon enough…